Embracing Summer Gatherings with Confidence

Summer is a season chronicled with warm weather and fun in the sun. But the increase in social gatherings can be overwhelming, especially if you are dealing with social anxiety. Break free from social anxiety shackles and embrace summer gatherings with confidence.

What is social anxiety?

Social anxiety describes extreme fear, anxiety and avoidance that compromises your ability to function in relationships, social events, and at work/school environments. Social anxiety extends beyond being shy. People who experience social anxiety often describe extreme fear of being humiliated, judged harshly or being the center of attention due to their flaws. These fears can cause racing heartbeat, sweating, trouble catching your breath, dizziness or lightheadedness or upset stomach or nausea. The impact of social anxiety is felt slightly before or during social events. You may have heightened experiences of worry, panic, discomfort, or even fear.

Manage your social anxiety

Do a personal check-in

The day, hours, or even minutes leading to a social event can be an emotional roller coaster especially if you are dealing with social anxiety. It helps to take some time to consider what is contributing to your distress. Consider what has happened in previous social gatherings and try to identify potential triggers and why they made you feel the way that they did. Questions to ask yourself would be, “was the thought or response reasonable? Can I prepare a success plan for the trigger?”

Prioritize your limitations

We have been taught to sacrifice our personal needs in consideration of the needs of others. However, that is counterproductive to successful management of social anxiety. Although you may enjoy time with your family and friends or meeting new people, you may not be able to attend social events as frequently as they are planned or stay for the full duration. It’s important to consider what the personal check in has brought to your attention. Prioritize your limitations. Instead of attending a weekly function, perhaps you go every other week. Or instead of staying at the BBQ for several hours, you only stay for two.

Make a social success plan

A social success plan is a list of 3 to 4 POSITIVE coping skills that you can rely on for support while in attendance at a social event. Think about how you experience your social anxiety and strategize buffers in response to those conflicts.

For example:

If you have a fear of not making it to the restroom in time. When you enter the event, you can 1) ask the host where the restrooms are located or 2) walk around the event and locate the restrooms yourself. Once you are aware of the restroom location(s) you can always position yourself near the restrooms to alleviate the fear of reaching the restroom on time.

If you are worried about being overstimulated or overwhelmed, implement a distress tolerance strategy. For example, every 30 minutes you can briefly leave the event and take a brief walk, take a few deep breathes, or complete a grounding exercise.

If you are uncomfortable meeting new people or attending a social event alone, bring a friend. This friend can provide emotional support regarding your anxiety at the gathering, and they can be a buffer to an overstimulating environment.

Remember, progress takes time. Be kind to yourself and enjoy your summer socials!

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