After the “national awakening” to experiences of racial injustice, a debate sparked about the “correct or appropriate” way to honor police brutality victims or protest racial inequality. Some argue protesting SHOULD be done in a “respectful”, peaceful manner only. While others believe protests can be nonviolent or violent. The stages of grief is a familiar concept for loss. However, few have connected the stages of grief with racial trauma.
How is Black Trauma Related to Grief?
Black trauma describes experiences of systemic racism, oppression, and prejudice towards members of the Black community. For example, Black Trauma comes from recent events and centuries of racial history in the United States. Black Trauma is grief for the loss of Black life and human dignity.
The stages of grief is used to describe the emotional, mental, physical, and behavioral responses to grief and loss. Grief is an individualized process that varies with each experience of loss. However, the stages of grief is a reference that can help us understand the different ways people respond to loss. It is important to note, the stages are not chronological or mandatory. Instead, a person is more likely to repeatedly cycle through the series of emotions.
Stages of the Grieving Process
Denial
Grief is an overwhelming emotion. In denial, the person has refused to accept the loss. It is a common coping skill to protect the person from experiencing the full blow of the loss.
Similarly, within the lens of racial trauma, the person may deny racism. Instead they may support “respectability politics.” More specifically, they may support arguments that identify personal accountability within the victim, (e.g. “they needed to comply”). This allows the person to shift the blame from their racial identity to a specific behavior or individualized characteristic of that person.
Anger
In the Anger stage, the person expresses different variations of anger. It can be full fury or rage at times, but it can also include bitterness and resentment. Anger is considered a masking skill because it helps the person cover the pain they are experiencing.
Within the lens of Black Trauma, the person is no longer in denial of the racial injustices compounded over generations. This may look like individuals who have uncontrollable angry outbursts or those who become verbally or physically aggressive during protects. This also can include those who exhibit the same behavior towards inanimate objects like property.
Bargaining
In bargaining, the person feels vulnerable and helpless. They begin to look for ways to gain control in their lives. They believe that can gain control through personal actions or deals with religious figures.
For instance, within the context of racial trauma, the person may say, “if we stop killing each other, they will respect us more.”
Depression
In Depression, the person begins the feel the weight of the loss. Unlike the other stages, depression doesn’t have a common expression. But some people feel sad, are tired all the time, feel detached from reality, or think negatively.
For example, within the context of racial trauma, the person may feel hopeless about their personal safety. They may engage in unhealthy or unsafe behaviors like overeating or substance use.
Acceptance
In Acceptance, the person has accepted the loss. Please note that accepting the trauma, it not welcoming or approving the trauma.
In the context of racial trauma acceptance is not fully applicable because it’s not a logical solution. However, in acceptance, some people focus on the personal change they can influence.
Would you like to learn more?
In Networking with Michelle, Minds Over Melanin founder, Ewune Ewane, explores racial trauma through the context of the stages of grief
Everyone is allowed to process and grieve trauma in their own way
If your experience of grief becomes overwhelming, or you need a safe space to process your thoughts or feelings, please contact a mental health professional.
For more information on racial trauma or grief, check out these posts
Or this website