Encouraging a friend to go to therapy can be a hard conversation to navigate. You cannot force someone to change but you can encourage a friend to seek help if you believe it will be beneficial to them. Being prepared when bringing this to a friend can help make the conversation go smoothly and can ensure that your friend feels loved and cared for rather than looked down on.

The American Psychological Association provides a list of common signs of distress we can take note of in others. If you’ve seen some of these signs in your friend, chances are your desire to talk to them about therapy may be helpful.

  • Changes in weight and appearance
  • Significant behavioral changes
  • Declining performance in everyday activities
  • Changes in mood like irritability, anger, sadness, and anxiety
  • Substance abuse
  • Talking about harming themselves
  • Disturbed sleeping pattern or insomniac
  • Isolating themselves and complete withdrawal from social activities

Begin from a Place of Support

Common misconceptions and stigma about mental health in our communities can still make talking about therapy a touchy topic. Your friend may recognize that they need help but could be scared that they will be judged or viewed differently. When bringing up therapy to a friend, try to use language that removes the stigma. Throughout this conversation, it is important to ensure they do not feel “othered,” like they are abnormal.

Timing is Important

When you approach your friend, you want to approach timing delicately. It is best to choose a time when they are receptive and have the space and capacity to give you undivided attention. If they are irritable or in a bad mood, a conversation about therapy will feel like another thing added to their plate. 

This conversation should be done in private and take place either as an intervention with one person or a group of people. Be mindful of your friend’s preference for a one-on-one conversation versus a small, intimate group (approximately 4 people total) as well as individuals you select if you decide a group intervention is the best approach. After your friend decides on seeking help, they are the ones to decide who they would like to invite into their healing process.

Talk about your our Experience

Part of the reason you are suggesting therapy to your friend is that you’ve experienced the benefits of it. Share your story and why therapy has been instrumental in your life. Think about your own reservations about therapy and how going through the process helped ease your concerns. This can also help destigmatize therapy while helping your friend see it as something that is normal because it is!

If you are able, provide resources that will help them find a therapist. Whether it is sharing directories that you used in your search or some resources from our website, they ease the stress upfront that may be a hindrance in them getting help. This is a great opportunity to share information you wish you had known when starting your therapy journey. There are many resources on our website that can help from finding a culturally competent therapist, to ways to interview your (potential) therapist, and how to find a therapist

Allow your Friend to Make the Final Decision

At the end of the day, your friend is the one who decides whether they want to seek therapy or not. Give them space to decide on their own if this is something they are wanting to do. What is most important is walking alongside your friend in this process and making sure they know they are supported and have all the information they need to make the best decision. 

Respect their decision if they decide therapy is not something they are interested in pursuing right now. There is a chance they may change their mind in the future. If so, they will have you to reach out to when that time comes.

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