How to Get the Most out of Therapy

Sometimes when we approach therapy we see it as going to the doctor or the dentist. If we do one thing and another, we will receive the desired result. This is not the case with therapy. Instead of a linear process, there is more work that needs to be done to see the desired outcome. As a result, it is easier to get discouraged or to stop going altogether. This is not the answer! There are ways you can approach therapy that will enable you to get the most out of it.

Deciding to Pursue Therapy

As you approach therapy and start to think about why you want to go and what your goals are, review some of our blog posts to frame your mind. In addition, talking with friends, family, and those you trust can be helpful. Engaging in conversations about their experiences and what they liked and don’t like can help you envision what you would like your experience to be. Before this time, especially in the Black community, people were not talking about therapy the way they are now. That means there are more resources and conversations that can be had throughout your journey.

Another way to identify if therapy is a good option is by realizing your problems may be bigger than you can handle on your own. If your issues start to interrupt your life and the feelings start to linger longer than before, it may be time to seek help. If you find it hard to work or start to notice you’re not the same parent, partner, or friend; chances are seeking therapy could help as well. Always think back to how you’re feeling. What feelings are you experiencing more than others? 

The Benefits of Interviewing Your (Potential) Therapist

A common aspect of therapy that is often overlooked is interviewing a potential therapist. You are the expert in what you’re going through so you should ask the therapist specific questions to see if they would be the best person to support you in this situation. 

When we think about interviewing a therapist, it goes back to what you are looking for, what your needs are, and how those needs will be addressed. For specialized issues and trauma, it is important to go to a specialized person. Do they have the training, are they knowledgeable of your situation, and can they be a support and guide to you in this area? Finding the answers to these questions can help put you in the right direction. Be sure to check their website or profile to see what their specialty is. This is your treatment, energy, time, and  it’s also your money. Make sure you’re making the best decision for yourself. 

As you are interviewing your potential therapist, remember to keep the questions relevant to them being equipped to carry out the therapeutic relationship to the best of their abilities. These can include questions about training, education, and others along those lines. Questions about marital and family status and age are not indicative of their ability to be a helpful therapist to you.

Assessing Your Personal Commitment

A big part of getting the most out of therapy is understanding your personal commitment. The commitment you make to yourself and the therapeutic process will determine the outcome in your growth. Some of the things that prevent people from receiving the outcome they desire in therapy can include: 

• Not showing up and being consistent. Your level of commitment is the foundation of therapy. You can decide to attend once a month, once a week, or twice a month. Whichever frequency you choose, try to choose something you can reasonably hold yourself to. Your healing is dependent on it. 
• Showing up late.  Next is attending your session and attending on time. You have a 50-minute psychological hour and you have someone who is there to focus just on you. When you get there on time, you’re able to get the most out of your session and dedicate time to yourself and your goals. 
• Not completing homework. Make sure you are doing homework or following through on takeaways from your session outside of the appointment. Therapy is similar to  working out, it’s not enough to just go to the gym, you also should incorporate eating healthy and being mindful of your lifestyle to see the fullness of the results you want. 

Putting Effort Into the Work You Do Outside of Therapy

There are a few different ways to continue the progress you have started during your therapy sessions. One of those is bringing the things you would like to address to the next one. Your therapist helps you understand events that are happening in your life and acts as a support system for you as you navigate through them. Take notes on the situation you had an issue with and bring it to the session. Your therapist can help you understand what went wrong and how it can be processed. You may think you are experiencing one emotion but it could be something different after you have spoken and processed it. 

Remember to make goals that have behaviors attached to them.  What do you want to change and what do you need to make it happen? Knowing that this can start chipping away at the pain over time. Setting goals according to your values helps as well. What is the life you want to live and how do you align those values to how you show up in the day-to-day? Having a value system is a great way to answer this question. 

Lastly, an underlying thing is transparency. This is how you experience the full impact of therapy. If you are being dishonest, chances are your therapist will only be able to help you to an extent. If you have a fear of being honest, remember there is not much that they have not heard. There is no need to be shy or ashamed or feel like you’re being secretly judged. Your therapist can identify with you and most importantly, they want you to be great and are in your corner! 

Be open with your therapist if something happens that you do not like. You are the expert on your own life and you have the authority to guide how someone interacts with you. There are different techniques you can use if one does not work, so be open to communicating how you feel.  If one therapist does not work you can try another one, don’t give up on therapy!