Grief is a simple word that describes a significant, immeasurable and indescribable loss. When someone is sad, cries, or wants to be alone because of a loss, that’s kind of what we expect. But grief can show up in lots of different ways. Though grief can happen in any season, there are some seasons that are presumed to be easier to cope in, than others. Summer is a time when people usually feel happy, light-hearted, and have fun with friends. It can be confusing and tough when you’re feeling grief but everything around you says you should be happy. Managing grief amidst summer vibes can be your reality.
Feel
Sadly, grief isn’t something you can avoid or rush through. As you experience the emotional rollercoaster of grief, give yourself time and space to go through those feelings. Keep in mind, there’s no set amount of time that’s too short or too long for grieving. It is what you need, when you need it.
Get Ready for Triggers
Sometimes, even the tiniest things can bring up memories, and suddenly strong feelings can take you back into your grief. It’s a good idea to be ready for how to handle these common triggers:
- Create a wellbeing statement. If people know about your loss, they might ask how you’re doing. You might not have thought much about this, and you might not want to talk about it all the time. Prepare a short statement of a sentence or two to share how you’re feeling. For example, you could say, “I’ve been facing challenges, but I’m managing. I’m taking things day by day. Thanks for asking.”
- Prepare a quick way to cope. Maybe you don’t want to show your emotions in public by crying. If a trigger brings up strong feelings, have a coping technique ready to help you manage those emotions until you can deal with them fully later on. Deep breathing could be one technique to help you reset your emotions.
Make Thoughtful Event Choices
While it’s important not to completely isolate yourself from friends and family, you don’t have to attend every single summer gathering. Opt for the events that feel manageable for you, and it’s perfectly okay to decline the ones that might be more challenging.
- Helpful tip: Plan an exit strategy
If you can, drive yourself to the event so you have the freedom to leave whenever you need. If you need a ride, try to go with someone who you know will be understanding about taking you home whenever you’re ready. Having the Uber or Lyft app on your phone and ready to use is another good option.
Celebrate Their Legacy
Remembering someone doesn’t only mean feeling sad. You can find ways to keep their memory alive by getting involved in summer activities they enjoyed. Consider what they liked to do. The possibilities are endless for honoring their memory. If they loved BBQs, you could have a BBQ in their name. If gardening was their thing, you could plant something special in their memory. If they were into fitness, consider doing a run to honor them.
Remember Coexistence and Embrace Mixed Emotions
It’s possible to feel both sadness and moments of joy simultaneously. Grief is sometimes compared to an enduring form of love. This means it’s a different way of staying connected with the person you’ve lost. As a result, many individuals fear that if they’re not continuously engulfed in the sorrow of grief, they might be erasing or losing that person all over again. Nevertheless, life keeps moving forward even during grief, so moments of happiness will naturally arise. Your love for the person won’t fade just because you’re experiencing happiness.
Grief is difficult no matter the season. But you will get through it.